Two blinded fools attempted a brazen challenge
They forced a path that was never meant to be created
A gauche girl, a boy who lingers in history
A deign pair for so many reasons
Animosty that originated during, and ongoing,
accumulated to their forecasted end
Simple reason: Polar Opposites
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
meant to be
aw cute. in the end, all the leftover trash somehow finds each other and clumps as one. unwanted and strongly disliked by others, they found common ground with each other, and now they unite. too bad nobody still cares.
Friday, November 6, 2009
full circle.
Here I am, back again
Why is it that I can't ever have it normal?
It's always the same, they use you.
While holding a despicable past or some filthy intention.
Why can't I come across someone normal, someone with a normal mind.
Is our society that corrupted, that all they can focus on is instant gratification?
Wasted minutes, wasted thoughts.
A great actor, has everyone fooled.
They all believe what you present to be
but I see it, I hear it.
That disgusting hidden you, that's mourning and screaming
your innermost secret.
Knowledge is power, and now I know
I can finally let it all go, because you're just another one
There goes by, another "one of those"
Why is it that I can't ever have it normal?
It's always the same, they use you.
While holding a despicable past or some filthy intention.
Why can't I come across someone normal, someone with a normal mind.
Is our society that corrupted, that all they can focus on is instant gratification?
Wasted minutes, wasted thoughts.
A great actor, has everyone fooled.
They all believe what you present to be
but I see it, I hear it.
That disgusting hidden you, that's mourning and screaming
your innermost secret.
Knowledge is power, and now I know
I can finally let it all go, because you're just another one
There goes by, another "one of those"
Thursday, November 5, 2009
disappointment
i don't think
i have ever
been this disappointed
in a while
just from that one glance
i want to cut off all connections with you
it wasn't like there was anything there
to begin with
sure, that's how it goes
sure, that's what they say
i guess i just respected you
a little too much
than you deserve
but, who am i to judge
we're practically strangers now
i'm going to give up
right here, right now
it's a pointless thing, really
i just can't believe it
i'm probably exaggerating
but who's stopping me?
i can say whatever, do whatever
it's because i have morals, i limit myself
i thought you did too, do you?
obviously not.
i have ever
been this disappointed
in a while
just from that one glance
i want to cut off all connections with you
it wasn't like there was anything there
to begin with
sure, that's how it goes
sure, that's what they say
i guess i just respected you
a little too much
than you deserve
but, who am i to judge
we're practically strangers now
i'm going to give up
right here, right now
it's a pointless thing, really
i just can't believe it
i'm probably exaggerating
but who's stopping me?
i can say whatever, do whatever
it's because i have morals, i limit myself
i thought you did too, do you?
obviously not.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
asdfghjkl
-searching for a new church. asking God to lead me.
-can't stop reading the twilight saga
-needs to finish studying for many classes
-needs to go over the sat2 lit subject test book
-wants to read wuthering heights
-has to study more art history
-never a peaceful moment.
things have changed. people have changed.
i used to like the person you were, i don't even know who you are today.
maybe you're the same, maybe alot has changed.
i know i've definitely changed, i'm not the same as last year.
i realized what i was lacking, i've realized my flaws.
i'm trying hard to fix them, i wish i had a chance to show you.
but would you care? would you budge?
i waste my time wondering how you would react
it's better off, for me to forget it
it's becoming to feel so tiresome and disappointing
waiting for you.
-can't stop reading the twilight saga
-needs to finish studying for many classes
-needs to go over the sat2 lit subject test book
-wants to read wuthering heights
-has to study more art history
-never a peaceful moment.
things have changed. people have changed.
i used to like the person you were, i don't even know who you are today.
maybe you're the same, maybe alot has changed.
i know i've definitely changed, i'm not the same as last year.
i realized what i was lacking, i've realized my flaws.
i'm trying hard to fix them, i wish i had a chance to show you.
but would you care? would you budge?
i waste my time wondering how you would react
it's better off, for me to forget it
it's becoming to feel so tiresome and disappointing
waiting for you.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Rock Climbing
The process of making new friends and remembering the old ones is a lot of like rock climbing. And I’m talking about rock climbing out that takes place out in the open, where you climb on real rocks and not some plastic rubber kinds. In every age of your life, you are compelled to make and associate with other people, preferably with people who have a common interest with you. Now as you continue in your relationship, you learn what to trust them with and how much you can trust them. You also learn the mistakes in failed friendships and the kind of people you don’t get along with.
This process relates to rock climbing because when you rock climb, you first start from the base, searching for a sturdy rock to help you get started. The bulges of rock you choose are to help you and boost you up to get higher. Friends are like that, your personal support system and there to back you up. You take into consideration which ones you choose to assist you. Unfortunately, like all people, not all the rocks are dependable. Some may look strong on the outside, but when grasped for, they crumbly away like sand. Just because a person acts “dependable” or “trustworthy” at the first impression, it should never be the reason why you choose to correlate with them.
As you slowly make your way up to the top of the mountain, selecting each rock carefully, making your way to the top isn’t the end. You need to remember the rocks you picked to get you back down. Those were the steps that helped you to reach the summit, but they shouldn’t be forgotten. Just as dependable friends shouldn’t be overlooked, we need to respect and cherish them for what they’ve done to help us.
So as you start your climb of making friends, think of it as rock climbing. Be slow and steady to choose your “rocks” and make sure you don’t forget them. Don’t be so easily drawn by the first impressions. As we go on with our lives, there’s going to be many mountains to climb, but it’s how we climb the mountain that matters, not what’s on the other side. It’s not a race to get to the peak first, it’s the learning process and how we apply it to ourselves.
This process relates to rock climbing because when you rock climb, you first start from the base, searching for a sturdy rock to help you get started. The bulges of rock you choose are to help you and boost you up to get higher. Friends are like that, your personal support system and there to back you up. You take into consideration which ones you choose to assist you. Unfortunately, like all people, not all the rocks are dependable. Some may look strong on the outside, but when grasped for, they crumbly away like sand. Just because a person acts “dependable” or “trustworthy” at the first impression, it should never be the reason why you choose to correlate with them.
As you slowly make your way up to the top of the mountain, selecting each rock carefully, making your way to the top isn’t the end. You need to remember the rocks you picked to get you back down. Those were the steps that helped you to reach the summit, but they shouldn’t be forgotten. Just as dependable friends shouldn’t be overlooked, we need to respect and cherish them for what they’ve done to help us.
So as you start your climb of making friends, think of it as rock climbing. Be slow and steady to choose your “rocks” and make sure you don’t forget them. Don’t be so easily drawn by the first impressions. As we go on with our lives, there’s going to be many mountains to climb, but it’s how we climb the mountain that matters, not what’s on the other side. It’s not a race to get to the peak first, it’s the learning process and how we apply it to ourselves.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Abandonment
A-ban-don-ment: a noun. An act of condemning someone or something by ceasing to take an interest in them. A four syllable word we don't often hear, but we've all experienced it. Maybe it was too subtle for you to notice. Think about it. Has anyone ever done something to cut off all their connections with you? Said something so they would never have to run into you again? Maybe it was just for a little bit, a temporary abandonment or one that affected you forever. The coach that always favored you benched you for the entire championship game, the game that you had practiced every day for, your dad left your family when you were only a toddler, never to see his face again, your bestfriend chose to be on the side with the person you're fighting with, thus questioning your friendship, or maybe even your prom date ditched you to go to an afterparty, leaving you to find your own way back home. No matter how big the act of abandoning was, it ends up hurting someone in some way. But from that experience we can gain so much more than the typical sorrow. Misery and Sadness are unavoidable, but it's what we do to cope with them that differentiates each person and their characteristics.
It’s not an easy thing to cope with, abandonment. It makes you feel like crap, something that automatically makes you feel inferior. It’s sometimes difficult to confront the fact that it happened to you. We often try to apply the cliché quote “Everything Happens for a Reason” to help us understand the situation. But then we quickly give up when it doesn’t work on the first attempt. We think of the possibilities why this happened to us; out of all the other people in the world, it happened to YOU. Well what I’m trying to say here is that it happened to YOU for a specific reason. Use this unhappy experience into a beneficial learning moment for yourself. I genuinely believe that in every situation, big or small, monumental or petty, easily forgettable or one that takes deep consideration, that we can find a meaning inside. But the problem with society today, is that we seem to be too busy to find the time to think it over.
So I leave you with a challenge. When a time of hopelessness comes, turn it around and make it to your benefit. It’s way better than just moping around. It looks, seems, sounds, hard, but honestly, it’s not. These miserable times carry a greater purpose, a mask waiting to be unveiled. We all endure through some level of abandonment, but it’s not a pointless. It has a reason and it’s up to you to search and apply it. People will always come and go, but it's what you learn from them, what sticks with you as you keep living your life, that's important.
Going back to the previous examples: Instead of giving up the sport in general because the coach that favored you then benched you during the championship game, you try harder and build yourself to become a stronger team player; maybe leading you to win the MVP award. The best friend that left you can be difficult. But in this scenario, instead of taking revenge on your ex-friend and evolving into some venomous “mean girl”, you learned how careful you must be when choosing what to trust your close friends with. It tests the loyalty of your relationship between you and another individual. For the example of the fleeing father, instead of asking your single parent to spoil you because you’re “deprived” of a regular family, you help out more and learn responsibility at a younger age. You also learn what not to look for in your future partner. Finally, for the example of the lame prom date: Instead of moping around, feeling sorry for yourself, take the fun experience you had at prom and forget about the guy. I mean, Prom can be a big deal in high school and if you went with a date that couldn’t respect you, well they don’t deserve your time of thought anyway.
When you trip or fall on the ground, instead of mindlessly stumbling back up then tripping again moments later, figure out what made you fall and fix that problem. Then carefully get back up, become stable, return walking to your destination, and make sure you don’t fall because of the previous reason. I urge you pick yourselves up when you fall, at the time when feel low and useless. If we give a little thought to our problems, they can always be solved.
It’s not an easy thing to cope with, abandonment. It makes you feel like crap, something that automatically makes you feel inferior. It’s sometimes difficult to confront the fact that it happened to you. We often try to apply the cliché quote “Everything Happens for a Reason” to help us understand the situation. But then we quickly give up when it doesn’t work on the first attempt. We think of the possibilities why this happened to us; out of all the other people in the world, it happened to YOU. Well what I’m trying to say here is that it happened to YOU for a specific reason. Use this unhappy experience into a beneficial learning moment for yourself. I genuinely believe that in every situation, big or small, monumental or petty, easily forgettable or one that takes deep consideration, that we can find a meaning inside. But the problem with society today, is that we seem to be too busy to find the time to think it over.
So I leave you with a challenge. When a time of hopelessness comes, turn it around and make it to your benefit. It’s way better than just moping around. It looks, seems, sounds, hard, but honestly, it’s not. These miserable times carry a greater purpose, a mask waiting to be unveiled. We all endure through some level of abandonment, but it’s not a pointless. It has a reason and it’s up to you to search and apply it. People will always come and go, but it's what you learn from them, what sticks with you as you keep living your life, that's important.
Going back to the previous examples: Instead of giving up the sport in general because the coach that favored you then benched you during the championship game, you try harder and build yourself to become a stronger team player; maybe leading you to win the MVP award. The best friend that left you can be difficult. But in this scenario, instead of taking revenge on your ex-friend and evolving into some venomous “mean girl”, you learned how careful you must be when choosing what to trust your close friends with. It tests the loyalty of your relationship between you and another individual. For the example of the fleeing father, instead of asking your single parent to spoil you because you’re “deprived” of a regular family, you help out more and learn responsibility at a younger age. You also learn what not to look for in your future partner. Finally, for the example of the lame prom date: Instead of moping around, feeling sorry for yourself, take the fun experience you had at prom and forget about the guy. I mean, Prom can be a big deal in high school and if you went with a date that couldn’t respect you, well they don’t deserve your time of thought anyway.
When you trip or fall on the ground, instead of mindlessly stumbling back up then tripping again moments later, figure out what made you fall and fix that problem. Then carefully get back up, become stable, return walking to your destination, and make sure you don’t fall because of the previous reason. I urge you pick yourselves up when you fall, at the time when feel low and useless. If we give a little thought to our problems, they can always be solved.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
one by one
Summer 2009 is slowly coming to an end. I've learned and experienced so much these past 3 months. But I've realized that I feel like I'm losing the people I trusted and cared for. Slowly, but surely. This isn't something to brag about of course, but just when I pick up the just about all the pieces for one, another one breaks.
I've also realized that I suck at showing emotion, or showing affection. Showing the people I love, that I actually care and love them.
I wanted my Junior year to be drama free and just carefree so I could just concentrate on academics. But I guess God had different things in store for me. I'm not complaining about these struggles though; I just don't want to feel the hurt or hardships, but I know through all this, a positive outcome will surely appear. Through these negative experiences, I'll grow through love and understanding. I thought I was mature enough, from everything I've went through. But maybe this is God's way of showing me that He's not quite done. I'm scared for the future hardships and the pain that I'll have to endure. But I know if I put my faith into God, He'll make sure everything turns out fine. "Don't tell God how big your problem is, tell the problem how big God is." These petty worries that I constantly fret about, are just small details of a BIG picture. I'm just focused on one small aspect of this immense picture God has created for me. I need to step back and look at the big picture.
Even though I title each of my friends as ones I can trust and ones I sort of can't, it doesn't matter who I keep close to myself. If I don't keep God as my number 1, the rest won't apply to me at all. I'd rather have God with me and no friends at all than a million friends and no God.
It's a constant struggle, and I can't make someone else fight it for me.
I've also realized that I suck at showing emotion, or showing affection. Showing the people I love, that I actually care and love them.
I wanted my Junior year to be drama free and just carefree so I could just concentrate on academics. But I guess God had different things in store for me. I'm not complaining about these struggles though; I just don't want to feel the hurt or hardships, but I know through all this, a positive outcome will surely appear. Through these negative experiences, I'll grow through love and understanding. I thought I was mature enough, from everything I've went through. But maybe this is God's way of showing me that He's not quite done. I'm scared for the future hardships and the pain that I'll have to endure. But I know if I put my faith into God, He'll make sure everything turns out fine. "Don't tell God how big your problem is, tell the problem how big God is." These petty worries that I constantly fret about, are just small details of a BIG picture. I'm just focused on one small aspect of this immense picture God has created for me. I need to step back and look at the big picture.
Even though I title each of my friends as ones I can trust and ones I sort of can't, it doesn't matter who I keep close to myself. If I don't keep God as my number 1, the rest won't apply to me at all. I'd rather have God with me and no friends at all than a million friends and no God.
It's a constant struggle, and I can't make someone else fight it for me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
vent vent vent
It's times like these when you know who your true friends are. You can tell everything straight up without worrying if the other person will judge you or not. They advise with choices that would honestly apply to you and answers that are not selfish or self-centered at all. They're the people that can genuinely make you feel SO much better when you feel like ripping your hair out. We're all growing up now; get rid of things that are negative, keep the positive. Why hold onto the useless junk that only wears you down?
Today was a success at a suprise birthday celebration. I was truly suprised. And now I have a colorful and very thoughtful birthday poster hanging up on my wall. From the people I love and the people that love me! And not to mention the Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume<3
Like: Studying at Borders, Jacuzzi, Hanging out with close friends, In N Out, Daisy by Marc Jacobs, Watching Korean Dramas till Late at Night, Thoughtful People, Understanding People.
Dislike: Cold weather, Pocari Sweat, Mosquito Bites, Inconsiderate Dumbshits, Screwups, Laggy Computers
Today was a success at a suprise birthday celebration. I was truly suprised. And now I have a colorful and very thoughtful birthday poster hanging up on my wall. From the people I love and the people that love me! And not to mention the Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume<3
Like: Studying at Borders, Jacuzzi, Hanging out with close friends, In N Out, Daisy by Marc Jacobs, Watching Korean Dramas till Late at Night, Thoughtful People, Understanding People.
Dislike: Cold weather, Pocari Sweat, Mosquito Bites, Inconsiderate Dumbshits, Screwups, Laggy Computers
Monday, July 20, 2009
it's HOTTT
-it's stuffy-ish, but i like the warm breeze at night:)
-i like listening to hilary duff once in a while
-half of summer's already gone
-i think i'm really confused
-i like going back to anc:)
-there are some nasstaaay people in this world
-i ate too much today
-i hate people who can't take a hint
-never say never
-apparently, i have an ocd that the first turn you take should be left.
-i have low battery
-i want to save money
-its 2, and i want to wake up around 7ish tmrw
-i like listening to hilary duff once in a while
-half of summer's already gone
-i think i'm really confused
-i like going back to anc:)
-there are some nasstaaay people in this world
-i ate too much today
-i hate people who can't take a hint
-never say never
-apparently, i have an ocd that the first turn you take should be left.
-i have low battery
-i want to save money
-its 2, and i want to wake up around 7ish tmrw
Saturday, July 11, 2009
people.
person#1-I used to go to you for advice all the time, but you've changed so much, I don't know who you are anymore.
person#2-I really miss our friendship. I wish we could go back to how we were. I miss how you were, not what you've become.
person#3-People are getting annoyed of how you act, I hope you realize that before you're left with no more true friends.
person#4-I've done my part in attempting to be a good friend, but you don't accept it. So I'll stop trying, don't tell me our failed friendship is all my fault.
person#5-I truly look up to you, I hope you hold onto your beliefs and opinions and stay strong. I hope you'll stay the leader, not the follower.
person#6-I'm sick of how weak you act. I'm sick of your empty promises. I hate how you're so dependent. Grow Up.
person#2-I really miss our friendship. I wish we could go back to how we were. I miss how you were, not what you've become.
person#3-People are getting annoyed of how you act, I hope you realize that before you're left with no more true friends.
person#4-I've done my part in attempting to be a good friend, but you don't accept it. So I'll stop trying, don't tell me our failed friendship is all my fault.
person#5-I truly look up to you, I hope you hold onto your beliefs and opinions and stay strong. I hope you'll stay the leader, not the follower.
person#6-I'm sick of how weak you act. I'm sick of your empty promises. I hate how you're so dependent. Grow Up.
Monday, June 29, 2009
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